(Words of wisdom I received in a forwarded email on 12/07/2009) 

Very funny, please enjoy... I don't know if they are true or not but still very funny.

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WISDOM FROM THE MANUAL

 "If the enemy is in range, so are you."

Infantry Journal "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."

U.S. Air Force Manual "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." General MacArthur

"You, you, and you Panic. The rest of you, come with me." U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.

 "Tracers work both ways" U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five second fuses only last three seconds." Infantry Journal

"Any ship can be a minesweeper....Once."

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."  Unknown Marine Recruit

Clean it, if it's Dirty. Oil it, if it Squeaks. But: Don't Mess with it, if it Works! USAF Electronic Technician

"If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him." USAF Ammo Troop

"Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."

"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." Paul F. Crickmore ( test pilot )

A Navigator's Definition of Latitude & Longitude: Latitude is Where We are Lost, & Longitude is How Long We've been Lost There! USA Navi-guesser

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- However, it's probably unsafe in any case "

"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot fowls up, the pilot dies; If ATC fowls up, The pilot dies."

"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two out of three are needed to successfully complete the flight."

"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation. We never left one up there!"

"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground Who is incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."

"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."

 Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test > pilot) "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."

Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970 "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."

"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes FULL power to taxi to the terminal."

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and Tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot And asks, "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don 't know, I just got here myself!"